I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
