As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
