just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize