the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
