..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
