yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
