im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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