So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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