worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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