Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
