This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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