How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I want a musical about memes.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
