My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
