Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize