U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
