we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
