dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
