false alarm. still invincible.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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