Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
