Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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