And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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