BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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