she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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