Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
