So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize