I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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