Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
