That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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