Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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