Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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