Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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