I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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