We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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