So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Randomize
