Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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