Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
