It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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