Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
