i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
