it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
