Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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