Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
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