i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
