Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just google imaged poop.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
