Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
