How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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