You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
