What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
