Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
