at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
