How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize