Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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