So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize