i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
