I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
