i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
