I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
