How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
