i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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