It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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