Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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