Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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